Are You a Dart Hacker?

by
Howard W. Dircks, Jr.

What is a Dart Hacker? Let me try to explain in layman terms. A Hacker is a person who takes multi cuts, irregular blows.

A Dart Hackers is a dart player not of pro level play. He or She is above the "Average Joe" throwing darts. The dart hackers darts don't always go where the are supposed to go. A Pro dart thrower can put his/her darts in the right spot 95% of the time.

I am a dart Hacker, and proud of it. There are a large growing number of hackers in the U.S. I started playing this game a couple of years ago. Fate was not on my side that day; the pool table was in use, so I tried the other game. No, not shuffleboard! You know the game, Darts!

When I think back, I should have never thrown those darts. Why? Because the game grabbed me by the soul, sunk its nails deep into my heart. I joined the legion of dart throwers in this country. I pick up the house darts (bent & roughed up) and gave it a shot.

Later in time I lost many a beer trying to beat the local bar players. I love the game win or lose. When you win it is great, lose & the next game is just "mugs away" (dart term I learned) from the next game. I spent a lot of hours trying to learn darts strategy & to get better. I spent a lot of time hearing "no, you take him as a partner". Hey, I was bad, but I was trying!

Henry Magee (owner of Magee's Dart Shop) sold me my first darts, (I guard these like gold pieces, most people always know where your kids are, me I know where my darts are!) He showed me a couple of things, then sent me out to the slaughter. A lot of practice & a couple of years later my game is above the bar level (more than my share of free drinks) a good "A" league level but not yet "pro tournament Level".

That places me in the center of the dart hacker definition. We hackers are out there; we stay behind on league night looking for some action (good games) we feed on luck of the draws like sharks! Hey, we love this game. It gets under your skin, behind your eyes, deep, deep in your soul. We have been late for dinner dates, missed holidays, weddings and other family functions for the chance to play the game.

Many a dart wife sits home or goes out with friends once a week. That's when the hubby goes around to the local gin mills, trying to win a couple of dart games. At home the wife's trying to plot a weekend away from darts. God forbid hubby takes them away for a couple of special nights away from home. Then the hubby comes back to the hotel room happy (he found a board to play) and a weak excuse to check out the oil in the car, only to head to the nearest board for a quick dart fix. I recently found a close friend and his father in law at a luck of the draw, they had gone out for a quick bite to eat, "Hey the serve food here" they ended up playing all night and getting in deep dodo the next day! .

The next level of darts takes you into the pro ranks & tournaments all over the USA. If your skill takes you into a tournament, (and you get passed the first round) you goal is to get into the money rounds (usually the top 16) that's where the pot of gold is!

Wait, hold on before you give your 4 year old darts and set up a practice schedule after school, Darts is not golf, (give Jr back his golf clubs) the money is not that good. The best players are not sending kids to Harvard on dart winnings. They spend more time eating at fast food in bad hotel rooms & long drives in older cars, to smoke filled rooms to throw a couple of darts and hope their game is great that given day. Hey, don't cry for the pro's.. they get to do what all dart hackers dream of, a chance to travel & play the game we love.

So as you enter your favorite watering hole take a good look around, we hackers are easy to spot. We are the people watching the dart board not the nice blonde who just struts right on by. We have no idea of the score on TV or what sport is on. We look preoccupied, but don't even think of skipping my name on the list or it is going to be World War III baby!

Why do we do it? The practice? The long drives and bad food? Inside playing darts on a nice sunny day?

Ask any dart hacker, but be forewarned, the answer maybe harder to understand than the U.S. tax code. So if your neighbor lets his grass grow to high, or never rakes up his leaves. He may not be just lazy. He's just inside practicing his outs. We hackers are not bad people; just misunderstood!

Oh, by the way, you're up.. mugs away!!

Howard W. Dircks, Jr.
Nov. 21, 1999