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Submit a story about your own Funny or Crazy
Darts Escapades!
editor@cyberdarts.com
The Tales:
by Rick Osgood
On one Friday afternoon, just before a major Houston Tournament, a certain internationally known lady Pro stopped by our darts shop to pick up a few supplies. This was several hours before the event was scheduled to start, and she had just flown in from out-of-state.
After greeting her, I noticed that she had some sort of white powder all over her hands and wrists. Some of it had spread onto her sleeves and other clothing. Assuming that she had spilled something while in the car, I asked if she would like to "wash-up" before doing her shopping.
"Oh, NO!" She practically recoiled at the suggestion.. "I put rosin on my hands before I left home, and my hands are EXACTLY the way I want them to be for throwing darts this weekend."
She then added: "I won't wash my hands until the tournament is over Sunday night. My hands are JUST RIGHT the way they are now!"
We didn't say another word about it, just helped her with her purchases, and waved a friendly goodbye at her when she left...
Southern Tier Dart League - Binghamton, NY, USA
I was watching one of the fellows on my team throwing his singles match and after some time left himself at 32. His next turn he busted on his 32. I yelled out "nice bust!"
At that exact time the very lovely bar maid was walking by and replied "why, thank you very much!"
There were about 45 people gathered for the weekly Sunday afternoon BDD at Sherlock's Baker Street Pub, an establishment located in a 2-story shopping center with the upstairs dart room opening onto a balcony.
Just before the draw was made a strange smell was noticed. Laughs all around about someone having thrown a "funny" cigarette in the waste basket. But the smell got stronger. "It's OK folks, said the barmaid, "I think there was a paper towel burning in the trash can."
But the smell got stronger...and the room got smoky. Really smoky, with solid curls of smoke obscuring the boards. Everyone started going out on the balcony between rounds for fresh air. Then sirens connected to great big red trucks sounded in the parking lot below.
Then a man (I think it was a man, you couldn't really tell, what with the big yellow coat and oxygen mask he was wearing) comes running through the bar and is startled to find the room packed full of people.
"People!", he yells through his mask, "What are you doing here? Don't you hear the sirens? See all this smoke? This building is on FIRE!"
A Darter yells back, "How close is it?"
Mr. Fireman answers, "Two doors down."
Darters ALL yell back, "Tell us when it gets closer! We're playing in a Darts tournament!"
The nice fireman shook his head and left, then came back with big fans to put in all the doorways & windows so we could breathe, and the tournament continued....!
Everyone not actually throwing or chalking stood on the balcony to breathe & watch the firemen drag hoses into the building, below and about 50 feet over. The darters at the boards kept yelling... "are any flames coming this way yet?" The fire was eventually quelled, about the same time that the event ended.
During all this commotion, one darter, Hal Perry, threw his first-ever Ton80. But he couldn't see it... Not because it was so smoky that even the scorekeeper had to lean close to see ANY score! Nope, Hal wasn't bothered by the low (zero?) visibility because he had just had surgery on both of his eyes and was wearing bandages. Another darter stood behind his shoulder and would tell him where his darts landed, and he would adjust his throw accordingly. You know, he has never thrown another T80 to this day!
"Several seasons ago, a team called the Bullseye Bitches (made up of all women, no surprise) were set to play my team The Throws of Despair, on the last night of league. We were in first place and they were in last, but their whole concept, all season long, wasn't to be able to be in first place particularly, but to distract the opposition. They wore very little clothes, the clothes they did wear were very sexy, they fixed up their make up and perfume like they were going to a prom, and looked great!
We thought it was a great thing, and decided to get into the spirit of the night. Our team showed up for the match, all in dress pants, button down work shirts, ties, and our finest church shoes, looking our best. That alone was unusual enough for our scruffy bunch, but we had another surprise.
Just before the match started, we walked to the line, dropped our pants, and played the whole match in our shirts, ties, and boxer shorts (we wore our most outrageous ones at that, I think my own had batman all over them). It was great fun, pictures were taken, many beers consumed, and we got some awfully strange looks from the occasional non-league folks that walked in.
All in all, one of the funnest dart nights we've had. Of course, I keep wondering when those pictures are going to come back to haunt us, guess I can't run for President.........shoot 'em with a smile".
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